I was really mad!
Talk of the person I loved so much as a mother-in-the-Lord, it was Mrs. Alayande!
How could she!
Tears rolled down my face as I beat the pillow.
“I feel so smelly now! I feel so irritated now. I wanna break something now! I wonder wound myself” I sang on desperately, looking here and there for a tool I could use to tear my body again.
The door flung open.
“Cynthia, what is the matter?” My brother asked, looking so worried and concerned.
“I need a knife bro. Get me a knife right now. I feel like breaking all the bulbs in the house. I feel crazy!” I screamed so loudly that I felt the pillars would come crashing down but for the deep, strong roots they had.
Caleb came close to me and held my two hands.
“Here comes a test my sister. A test you must pass!” He said so calmly that I felt like a fool at once.
“Let’s sit down and talk about it sis” He said and led me to my bed as I started weeping profusely.
I was really angry!
“Mrs. Alayande, the woman I so trusted like the palm of my hands. The woman who led me to Christ! How could she use my past against me? How on earth!” I burst into tears again, slapping my chest as I did.
“Caleb. Peace called me today and was asking if it was true that I had committed an abortion before. It caught me unawares and I asked why she was asking. She said she heard in church when some brothers, chai Caleb, brothers o were talking about it!” I resumed my crying again and heard my brother’s long sigh.
“Peace confronted them and they said they heard it from Sarah. Sarah is Abraham’s fiancée and Abraham is Mrs. Alayande’s last born! See connection! I am mad right now! Why would she broadcast the news? How do I even face…oh my God!” I was about slapping my chest when Caleb seized my hand.
“Here comes a test you must pass my darling sis! I said that at the beginning of our discussion but you probably didn’t hear me. Here is a test and you must pass it to move on to the next level!” He said and I looked into his face to decipher what he was talking about, tears streaming down my face.
“Last week, we fasted and prayed concerning this anger issue of yours. God heard us and you felt so new. Nothing irritated you much. Then, thinking of what could hurt you so much, the devil dug out your painful past and magnified it in your head like it is an issue when it is not!”
“Caleb, it is an issue! What is going through people’s mind right now? Why must it be Mrs. Alayande? I am sure hating her right now! Whenever we meet in church, no more greeting! I will never go close to…”
“My lovely sister, there was an Eli, a prophet of the whole land of Israel! And there was a Hannah, a sad, barren woman. Not aware of what was going on, he blurted out some horrible words, even calling her a drunk. What did Hannah do?”
I just couldn’t reply.
“She explained to him respectfully. I am not a drunk as you think. It is just that out my sorrowful heart, I am making some things known to my God! She didn’t scream at him in her anger and say ‘Are you not a prophet? Why would you even jump to conclusion’ and other things like that. She didn’t! you know why?” He asked and I shook my head.
“It was a test she must pass to get to her miracle!” He said and tears rolled down my eyes at the depth of his wisdom. “The same prophet acknowledged his mistakes and stamped her report card. She passed!”
“Hmmm” I exclaimed.
“We pray to God to make us holy, to do this for us and that for them! The devil on the other hand is a very wicked somebody! He is so busy trying to hinder those prayers from getting answered. He is ready to use our weaknesses against us!”
“I still have issues with Mrs. Alayande being the very person that…”
“Don’t be shocked that I may annoy you few minutes to come! Yes, that’s the devil! He can use anybody! A pastor, a prophet, your husband, your wife, your parent, your confidant, your siblings, just anybody!” He said and I nodded. Those words weren’t strange to me but the devil kept having a foothold!
“You are very oblivion of the next level the Lord is taking you to but the devil can see. He can feel. He wants to stop you! You must not allow him! He brings in anger, defeat it! That was what destroyed Moses! In anger, he struck an Egyptian, in anger he was almost striking another person when he realized his secret wasn’t covered!” He paused, patting my shoulders as I wept on.
“For 40 years, God sent him into exile so he could be trained and tenderized because it would take a meek man to lead stubborn people! Yes it worked, he became really tender when he was cooked for 40 years but you know what? The devil was waiting for him at the juncture of crossing over! And did he succeed? Yes, but for His mercies!” He said and I broke down into more tears as I fell down on my knees in real soreness.
“But did he cross to the Promised Land? Nay! He only saw it from afar!”
“Ah Lord Jesus! I am sorry” I wailed.
“After you have prayed and have committed your weaknesses to God’s Hands, almost immediately, the devil will bring you a ‘justifiable’ reason why you should still revisit that same weakness! Be it anger, talkativeness, malice, bitterness, sexual perversion, addiction, name it!” He paused again and my head sunk deeper into the cold tiles. I shook from the realization of what was going on.
“And the greater the next level you are about attaining, the greater the temptation you feel! We have to be very careful! The devil will try to stop our prayers because our prayers stop him!” He said, his voice so full of passion.
“Ah, Jesu mi oooo” I wailed, clutching my Bible to my chest. I was really sorry! The devil was obviously trying to cheat me and I was not watching! Oh my goodness!
“There is a prize for every temptation you overcome! There is a joy and laughter in Heaven over every proposal of the devil you push away! The devil hates that!”
“Oh gracious! Oh my! Lord, have mercy” I wept on. I felt a presence before me and it was Caleb. He knelt down and held my hands.
“We will pray now! Enough of wailing and moaning. It is time to take authority! Just repeat after me”
“Rejoice not over me, oh my enemy. For when I fall seven times, I will rise again. Shout it”
“…I will rise again!”
“When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light unto me.” He said again and I repeated after him!
There was so much light in my heart as I closed my eyes firmly against the devil’s proposal as my brother called it!
Surely, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God!
“Let us pray now my sister” He said and gulped passionately.
“When I get to that juncture of crossing over and the devil tries to bring me down by myself, Holy Spirit of the Living God, I will not fall!” He led on and I prayed from the depth of my heart to the Lord.
“Say, Oh Lord, turn my weaknesses into my strength from today in the Name of Jesus!” He said again and I screamed the prayer on, my face raised to Heaven.
“I command today that henceforth; my shield of faith will be strong enough to push away all the fiery darts from the enemies in the Name of Jesus!”
“Ah, in the Name of Jesus, my Father and my…” I cried out loudly too.
“Lastly sis, take this with all seriousness. Lord, henceforth, by your mercy, help me never to fail any Divine promotional test in the Name of Jesus Christ!” He led on and I jumped up.
It was a prayer to be said on my feet.
At that point, the song that came into my mind was one of JayMikee’s and my mouth couldn’t resist it:
There are forces against my soul
Trying their best not to make me whole
Lord I need You
Heaven I need You.
Seems like just me against the world
Lord I’m trusting with Your Power
Lord I need You for my soul…
I felt a whole rush of power and anointing from the hair of my head down my spine!
I knew then, that a battle line had been drawn and I needed no more passivity but action- in prayer and watchfulness!
