I posted this photo 👆on my status and added that the book I was holding in the picture is a book every godly woman should read before marriage. Then, someone replied to me.
‘To think I just got this book today to read. I am struggling with submission, so I got the book to read.’
I was really excited to read that comment. The comment, coupled with a few negative things I had been seeing all over the internet and hearing here and there, made me share some musings on my WhatsApp status that I have decided to save here on my blog for whoever would find it useful.
Wow, I am sincerely so happy to read this, sis. Let me explain why…👉
It is a terrible thing to be sick and not know that one is sick. A lot of things might be damaged before you seek medical help, right?
Well, let’s assume that someone was able to detect the illness and came over with medication. Isn’t it the wise thing to collect the medications and use them so you can get well?
Instead of collecting the medications and using them, can you imagine the sick person saying, ‘Why are you saying I am sick? Am I the one that you must always say is sick every time? Even my roommate is sick. Tell her too. Leave me alone and treat her. Haba!’
And she keeps vomiting and bleeding and dying. Yet, she keeps saying, ‘Leave me. Face my roommate. I am not a sickler. Stop being partial.’
What would you term this?
I call it foolishness!
I call it self-hate!
Who are you doing a favor by receiving treatment? The doctor? The nurse? It is yourself!
These days, you dare not mistakenly write anything to address the terrible state of womanhood in the church. Before you say ‘Jack!’, one or two comments would have dropped: ‘Address the men also. Every time women, women, women. Leave us alone and address men. If you can address men more, there’d be fewer problems in the church. Every time ‘Women’s conference,’ ‘Women this,’ ‘Women that’…’
If you don’t know, that’s rebellion! I have been there also, so I know what it is. It is the spirit of ‘unteachability!’ It is the spirit that resists the Truth.
You just check the state of your heart – how you feel when you make those statements – ‘Women, women every time…’ bla bla bla. Check your insides as you speak. How would you describe the feelings? Anger? Resentment? Irritation! Pride? Self-righteousness? Finger-pointing? Right? And these feelings are not of God. They are pointers to the flesh that never wants to change. That never wants to be wrong. The flesh that wants to dominate!
‘Women aren’t the problem here. You’ve been focusing on us for too long. Why not try to focus on men? They are the problems here!’
No one says men shouldn’t have more conferences. I support that fact. I pray for it. I long for more men to rise up who would embrace BIBLICAL MANHOOD and MASCULINITY and teach it! I even have a post planned to tell the men in my clan about this.
So, it isn’t wrong to have those programs. But why must it come to your mind only when your illness is being addressed? Why must you only remember this when Biblical womanhood is being addressed?
Why are you the one thirsting for conferences for men? Why don’t you let them thirst for it themselves? If you are truly desiring these for men out of a pure mindset, not a rebellious, feministic one, you will do it on your knees, not in arguments. Not in fights. Not by attacking the people who are sent to focus on Biblical Womanhood, for instance.
The seminars and conferences they are organizing for women, that you are saying are too many, how many have you attended? Have they already worked in you? Have the teachings transformed you?
When you keep having that angry mindset, you will never even have time to realize how sick you are, how in desperate need of healing you are, how you are rebelling against the Word of the Lord in your heart and so on.
My generation has the ‘pushing blames’ syndrome, and until we get rid of this, it will keep destroying marriages. My father didn’t send me to secondary school, that’s why I am poor. My mum left me when I was two, that was why I developed this and that. My husband is bad, that’s why we have a bad marriage. My wife is haughty, that’s why our marriage is sour. Excuses! Blaming every other person but ourselves!
This is why we must deal with the flesh, with SELF! Immediately SELF can be dealt with, all that’d flood our souls is PLEASING GOD! Whether the husband does his part, whether the wife does her part, we won’t mind. We only want to do what the Lord said we should do!
The Bible says in Matthew 9 from verse 35 that “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore, PRAY EARNESTLY to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest. GO YOUR WAY; behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves….’
We need men to teach Biblical Manhood, right? That verse says we should pray to the Lord earnestly to raise men for that purpose! Yet, until the Lord raises those people, the ones that have been sent must continue. The verses above say ‘GO YOUR WAY’, so, we can’t stop doing what the Lord sends us to do because God hasn’t sent more laborers into the areas you are focusing on.
And if you wonder what it would take for me, for instance, as a woman who teaches Biblical Womanhood to shift and preach Biblical Manhood, you might need to take a closer look at the Scriptures. You can study 1 Tim 2:11-14 and ask the Spirit to interpret it for you. Many might decide to contradict that, but I won’t. I might, once in a while, chip in personal musings as led for the male folks on my contact list. But to interpret and preach the Scriptures to them, to me, that power hasn’t been given.
We women are always tempted to take the lead, to preach, to correct, to be in charge, etc., in our homes. Our men seem to be too slow, too crude, too uninformed, too lacking for our liking. This is one of the reasons we are in the various messes we are in the world today. (Ask Eve and Sarah.) This was even addressed in those verses in Timothy above.
There is an order from above. There is a Biblical hierarchy. But we can never understand or accept this order in the flesh – and that is the path to bliss! Only the wise can tread this path. That’s why the Scriptures say a wise woman is the one who builds her home!
I wrote all of this because I celebrate my sister who made that statement above. She noticed a
problem with herself (not to mean her man is perfect) and sought out the remedy because she wants to be healed. If she can indeed swallow the pill and trust the Lord to work on her, she’d be fine and have a lovely Biblical marriage. It excites me so much to read this that I wish we can stop the blame game and really understand that if we can face the assignment God has given us as women to do, we will enjoy peace like a river. We have not been sent to see if our brother is having a speck in his eyes when we have huge logs in our own eyes to deal with.
By the way, there are hundreds of teachings on Biblical Manhood and masculinity online. Search on Google for them, dear men, to be well-fed and prepared for marriage. Let’s stop the assumptions that there aren’t materials, conferences, seminars, and teachings for men. Ours might be more pronounced, but men also have a lot. You can start with John Piper if you need a sound teacher on Biblical Manhood. Michael Pearl is another.
Singles, pray very well so that as you are preparing for marriage, your husband-to-be is also preparing. You can’t be a serious child of God, preparing well for marriage, and expect God to give you to a man unprepared, unlearned about marriage. Pray and stop staying online lamenting that men are the problems that need to be schooled. We all are problems that are in need of God’s mercies.
And if you are married and it seems to you that your husband came into marriage unprepared, go on your knees for him. Both of you should then start to learn together. Start listening to messages by Gbile Akanni, for instance, on marriage. My husband and I do this too. We don’t know it all. If there aren’t seminars and all for men indeed, then you can create in your homes, avenues to listen to BIBLICAL messages on marriage by trusted men and women of God. Stop fighting the wrong fights. Only fight the good fight of faith👍
Dear women, the Bible has instructed us to be taught. Titus 2:4-5 says:
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
That is why we have many programs and teachings around to help you and me to be taught the ways of the Lord. Even with all the programs, the numbers of Biblical women being raised are still few. If the programs and teachings are placed on hold because you want the focus to shift from women to the men, how would the state of things be then? Won’t that be disobedience to the Word of the Lord that instructs women to be taught? And won’t that mean there’s much more rot than we have now despite the many teachings and conferences?
Face your lane. Fight the flesh. Deny yourself. Carry your cross. Follow the Lord- DAILY!
You can’t be fully doing the above and still have time to be fighting online that men should be the ones that need programs – not you.
If you want to please the Lord and do His Will, follow His Word! Ditch all the antagonistic fights that feminists put up on social media these days set to make you deaf and blind to your own faults, to your own spiritual needs.
May the Lord bless these words in our hearts. Amen and amen.